Damn the pain, work it!

Posted on January 24, 2012 by Heather

Its been a painful couple of months.   Literally.  And I finally went to the doctor for it.  Apparently I damaged my rotator cuff on my left shoulder.

Oh, did you think I was talking painful circumstances or emotional pain?  Ha!  Yup, had that.  But in addition I had severe pain down my upper arm.  So much pain that I stopped using the arm in hopes whatever I’d done would  heal itself. Worried I had damaged it.

Couple months later I’m down to 50% mobility in that arm.  Seems when you baby a shoulder injury you run the risk of freezing it.  And mine was a nice solid ICE block…. of pain.

Solution?  Well, according to the doctor I finally saw, Physical Therapy.  Oh and a cortisone shot to reduce any inflammation.  Weeeeeee.

Yes, it PINCHED!

So I’ve been doing the stretching exercises for a few days now and already I’ve noticed I can move my arm a little better.   There is still pain, but its less during the day and hardly anything at night.  Before the shot & stretching it used to wake me with its throbbing ache.

And I’ve got my first physical therapy session today.  I’m actually nervous.  I KNOW this is for my benefit.  But I also KNOW its gonna hurt like a bitch!

 

 

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The new weekends

Posted on January 20, 2012 by Heather

Today is the first real weekend of having my oldest and trying to be single at the same time. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had several weekends when its just him and I, since his father has decided NOT to take custody of him. But this is the first weekend where I’m going to utilize my “sitters” and try to have an evening or two to play.

Not that big a deal really, except my oldest might wonder WHY I’ve made arrangements for him to sleep elsewhere for Friday night. And I’m wondering just what to tell him.

Normally I’d tell him the truth. I’ve done very little lying to my kids. Yes I’ve done the occasional “Santa” fib and joked with them the exaggerated statement or two, but I’ve tried to be as truthful as possible.  Probably a lot of TMI to THEM but hey, you got the Mom you got.  Deal.

But truth is NOT going to be possible this weekend. Muahaha 😉   Yet my inquisitive, good/right/proper-obsessed 14 year old WILL ask where I’m going and what I’m doing.  And I’ve got to think of what I want to say.

Now if he were over 18 I’d tell him I was going out on a date. Which I could do NOW except he believes my Sex God is the only man I will, should, am dating.  And he will have REAL issues if he thinks I’m actually doing anything his father has been telling him I’m doing.  (Which I have no “real” idea what he might be saying.. although the kids tells me he tells them I go disco dancing.  Yup, disco dancing.  That’s all he could come up with.  Instead of saying, “I have no idea.”)

So I thought I might tell him I’m going OUT with girlfriends… except I’m dropping him off at my best girlfriends house so he might wonder.

Ah… but maybe I can just tell him I’m going OUT with Sex God & spending the night at his place.  Since the youngest was just there (blog that later) he can testify that it is really TOO small to bring a kid along.

That just might do it.

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Overwhelming Scenery

Posted on January 17, 2012 by Heather

I can’t seem to “DO” anything.

If you’ve noticed my blog entries have trickled again… down to two a week.  And this time its mostly due to not having anything to say more than not having time to write.   My brain says, “You gotta post a blog tomorrow” and it sets me scrambling & thinking & wondering until I’m basically procrastinating it off!

And its not just the blog.  I’m not in the mood to supervise the boys to clean my house.  Oh they still do the daily chores but I haven’t made them pull chores on the bigger stuff.  I’ve not done any upkeep on the gardening, the floors have dust bunnies in every corner & don’t get me started on the toilets!

Could be because my garage is almost done.   And once done I’ll be able to sort stuff into the cabinets, onto the rolling shelving units and “de-box” my house which is cluttered with all the stuff I had in the garage & storage unit.   Of course, I love doing things like that… so there is a part of me anxiously awaiting this.  And its put me in a holding pattern of sorts.

Then there is all the goals I’ve set for myself to do.  Ironically they have an order they need to be done in to be successful.  So I cannot progress along getting Child Support until after the Army rules on how much of his Pension is mine.  Oh there are little steps I can take but I sent an email to my lawyer regarding this and haven’t heard.  He’s either REALLY busy or really unorganized & I’m going to need to take some steps myself to move this forward.  More than just a harassing phone call.

And I cannot move forward on much of that to get my fair share of the pension and after THAT actual child support until AFTER I file for bankruptcy.   I have no assets to seize or protect & ended up with the bulk of the credit card debt in the divorce.  Add to that the unexpected medical bills & I’m feeling the need for a true fresh start.  Lucky for me I fall into the Chapter 7 category…. for now.  If I’m ever going to do this, I need to do this now.   And find a different lawyer as mine isn’t emailing me back on this subject. lol

Business wise this very bankruptcy thought makes me want to buy a few airline tickets for Sex God to accompany me on a trip or two for work this year.   Can I?  Should I?  So I’ve not done some of my conference booking due to this very hesitation.  I need a hour or two to plow thru the sites, paperwork & MAKE A DECISION!   Instead I fill my work days with doing some of the easier paperwork…. oh and take a few long lunches along the way.

Why long lunches?   Cuz the Ex STILL hasn’t taken his son for a weekend so I can no longer host a play date unless its the boyfriend/Sex God who the kids know… OR I get a babysitter & that’s usually is only going to be a once a month kind of event.  So I’ve been enjoying my lovers who CAN play during the weekday.  Which of course, cuts into my work time. lol

But its not a very good long term solution.   Don’t get me wrong, I love every minute of the sex, but its not the same as going out for a fun evening and FEELING like a Cougar through & through.  That emotional break from “Mommy”, “Employee”, you know… “Responsible Adult”  is vital to keeping me loving my life.  Too little of that and I start searching for new inputs that give it to me.

But right now I seem to be standing on a precipice looking at all the things I need to do, want to do, don’t want to do, should be doing.  And all I see in the pretty scenery.  I have no motivation to  move forward on any of them.  To pick a direction and charge down the path.

Worse is the feeling that time is creeping up behind me & if I don’t gather the right things to start down any of these paths & won’t have what I need before time shoves me down one.

I think this is a character flaw in me… this scenery looks AWFULLY familiar!

 

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So Coachella lineup is out

Posted on January 13, 2012 by Heather

So the lineup for who is playing on what day for the Coachella Music Festival was released Monday.  And I was soooo disappointed.  No Incubus.  No Young the Giant.  Two bands I was really, really hoping would play.  After all, both are local and both have new albums out!

But Incubus played Coachella in ’09 I think so maybe Coachella wanted a newer headliner… but that doesn’t explain Black Keys headlining Friday night!  They played last year (and I was NOT impressed).  I have no idea why Young The Giant wasn’t invited.  And can only growl over it.

In any case, Awolnation will be there and I do know they are fun to watch play!!  So THAT is good.  And I just heard THIS song which I think is pretty damn wonderful.

Gotye – Somebody That I Used to Know

(Although the rest of their album is a little underwhelming. And I like the video version performed by Walks Off The Earth….   its just kinda really cool to watch!)

Walks Off the Earth version – Sombody I Used to Know

All the other bands listed, I really don’t know. lol.  So THIS time, I’m going to try a new tactic for Coachella.  I’m going to download the albums of the 98.7 & KROQ bands & really KNOW all the music before I see the artists perform.  I usually discover a new band or two at Coachella.. like in 2010  Vampire Weekend  which is freakin a dance blast to watch in concert… and a British gem,  Frank Turner

And in 2011 I fell in love with   Jack\’s Mannequin   who is just amazing to watch in concert and the lead singer has battled leukemia which makes his lyrics soooo very interesting.  And downloaded Cold War Kids album & Cage the Elephant although I regret not seeing Cage… but had to squirm thru Black Keys to get a good standing space for Mumford & Sons and THAT was sooo, soooo worth it!!  OK… one more you gotta hear…  Swim by Jacks Mannequin

This year I’m doing 2 things different.  I’m going to try to KNOW the bands before I go see them to maximize  my enjoyment… and I’ve rented two condo/hotel spaces for the event.  One for my friends and one for my lovers. 🙂  Both sleep six…

So I’ll be having fun at Coachella no matter who is paying!

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I only need one hint, really Fate!

Posted on January 9, 2012 by Heather

Its 2012, and just like taxes you kinda feel like you’re starting with a fresh slate.   You have this desire to make changes, accomplish goals, or seek dreams.   Or at least I have, I can’t really speak for the rest of you. lol

I’m feeling the need to scour my house, purge the unused & excess clutter in cupboards, sort things.  Of course THAT’s impossible due to ALL of my garage is in various corners in my house as we finish walls, floors, install cabinetry, etc.   So I set aside that feeling; looking to organize some other part of my life.

Work!  Yes, I can get a little more secure by planning my conference trips and booking all the flights and hotels.  Sorting and planning are my favorite things to do.   And often I let them take the place of actually doing something.

Like writing.

In the back of my mind is my Muse wondering if I’m ever going to actually DO anything with the talent beyond blogging my thoughts & impressing new men people with my wit & stories?  This is exactly what happened in college.  Living life took over, dancing and drinking was more fun than writing & then I did a cost analysis of effort over payout and felt it wasn’t worth TRYING for.

Cuz I’m inherently lazy.

Recently I started writing a little description in my head of someone.   And it occurred to me I could take my Cougar character Cat and write little vignettes.   Almost a homage to some of the more interesting and more “what!!” experiences I’ve had with people.

And then Fate seconded the idea.  I ran into a fellow GLAWS writer at the Starbucks where I meet many people.  She’s the only other member I know of in my area & since I haven’t been to the meetings much I haven’t seen her in ages.   Ironically I was about 20 minutes ahead of my schedule & by the time we finished a quick catch up chat not only had all the seats in Starbucks emptied but she’d left me with a lot to think about.

Last we’d spoke an agent had decided to represent her book.  Which was great because she was unemployed, trying to make it in Los Angeles as a writer… very difficult if you’re writing fiction and not working for t.v. or movies.   In the course of our conversation, I found out her agent quit the industry, so she’d tried publishing it on Amazon as an e-book & was gearing up to do a print run herself.  Because her mother had passed away & had left her a bit.  (Robin is a VERY Aspergers female and delivered all this deadpan!)  I’m going from “damn agent!” to “sounds great!” to “Oh my condolences”!

But I wrote down her suggested links and forums, got my Iced Macchiatto (& lemon pound cake.. don’t tell my diet!!!) and pondered it a bit while I waited.

The Cat Vignette idea had merit.  I have a blog & FB friends as an audience.  Romance no doubt sells way better than some other genres on Amazon, etc.   And in all my planning I haven’t set aside a single day, hour, moment to actually write some pages.  It’s all been surface research, plot outline, character definition…. basically procrastinating the dive into full immersion with surface skimming.

And it needs to stop.

This is soo ME

I’m an Aries.  We are the Ram.  We plan, we strive, but we are at our best when we LEAP.

We’re really good at balancing quick, scouring the landscape and leaping again if necessary.  We’re also good at picking ourselves up from a tumble & gathering up the nuggets of gold we discover we’ve dislodged.  Cuts, bruises, etc will heal… what have we gained & learned & where will we go next is our focus.

In 4 months I’ll be 49… time to stop NOT achieving ALL that’s possible for me.

Time to Leap.

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MyFitnessPal.com… loving it!

Posted on January 6, 2012 by Heather

Of course, its a New Year.  And I did nothing to celebrate it.  For several reasons.

One:   I had my kids.  And they stand on ceremony-that-impinges-on-personal-time as much as I do!!  Meaning, they didn’t want to stay up just to count backward for 10 seconds.

Two:   I had my kids, so no fun adventure.  Not even with Sex God as he spent the weekend with his kids & Ex.  Lol… sometimes I feel like the “other woman”!  (And before you all get worried.. I’ve MET his Ex & we get along just fine 🙂  )

Three:   I was EXHAUSTED!  Last  two weeks of December seem to just kill me.  Between Christmas, the kids being off school & it being End Of Year at work I’m usually juggling so much at once that the idea of “finding something to do for New Year’s”  is beyond me.

But once the New Year was actually here & I’d met my deadlines & Christmas was OVER!!  (I swear people don’t realize that holiday was invented when people had NOTHING to do cuz they were trapped in the grips of WINTER & most likely housebound due to SNOW!!  grumble, grumble.)    Then I was able to look at my future in 2012.  And the first thing I did was download a new app to my iPhone.  It was  MyFitnessPal

Its a  free app… and a basic calorie counter, but since this was the first time in my life I’ve actually counted the calories of what I eat I’m loving the whole thing.  I set myself a modest goal of losing 15 pounds.. one pound a week.  (Sexy Heather at Coachella here I come!!)  And it tells me how many calories I can eat a day to achieve this goal.  It allows me to search and add the foods I eat pretty damn easily!  Plus it allows me to enter in my exercise which actually ADDS to my allotted calories for the day.  SWEET!!   Kinda motivates me THAT much more to hit the gym!

But the best part, the thrilling part,  is I also put the app on the iPod Touch of my heavy 12-year old son.  With a modest goal of 1/2 a pound a week, he’s got a good amount of calories to eat per day.  And he’s learning the value of food and the trade offs we sometimes have to make to be able to have what we want.

For Example:  We were in Vons & I usually let them buy, with their own money, a donut.  Which Evan did.  I had him enter the  item in his MyFitnessPal.  I heard him grunt & say, “Mmmm, guess I’m going to have to do some exercises today.”  (300 calories for a handful of yummy goodness that isn’t going to do anything more but make you want another donut!)

But upon hearing his comment….. well, lets just say if I wasn’t driving a car at the time, I would have been dancing.  The most challenging part of getting an overweight kid to slim down is motivating them and getting them to understand that no exercise = less food.  Cuz realistically, its not always the food they eat or the portions (although those are often factors) its the fact that they are so sedentary.  My other two move ALL the time!  And they don’t have the snacking desires that me and my middle son do.  So they stay amazingly skinny!

But Evan eats pretty healthy.  Lots of fruit, yogurt, raw veggies when I pull them out.  He just sometimes eats a lot of them.  And the MyFitnessPal lets him realize that if he eats just 1 sausage instead of 2 sausages he might be able to fit in a snack later in the day.  So its teaching him portion control…. something that he’ll NEED for the rest of his life, if he ends up a chunky adult!

Yesterday Evan and I calculated what we ate at the end of dinner to see if we could have my homemade chocolate chip cookies for desert….

“Do I get a cookie, Mom?”  he asked.

“We did so well, we both get… TWO!”

After the high fives & dancing (burning calories.. YES!)  I realized this app was teaching him the most important lesson of all…

EARN your reward through EFFORT.

I would have paid money if I’d known he’d be learning THAT!  🙂

 

 

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The Privacy Blog Block – UPDATED ;)

Posted on January 4, 2012 by Heather

Hello my fans… my peeps who actually read this blog.  (And BiteME to the enemies who may be reading this for nefarious reasons.)

You may have read about the drama I had with my son’s meltdown at school.  And how they wouldn’t take him back.  And how the hospital sent me a bill for over $1T!  But you didn’t hear about the emails my Ex & I exchanged about this.

I had hopes this incident would spur him to try to connect with his son on a level his son might understand.  But not only does he NOT believe his son is worth trying new tactics to connect/parent/love him with, he’s convinced his remote, non-emotional, shuts down at conflict, corrects & doesn’t see how his son takes that as criticism because its not balanced with lots of praise… way is “how he parents & is just fine.”

Yes, he’s a asshole.  But remember I’ve been doing ALL the real parenting for 14 years.   Its just sad he doesn’t think his son is worth trying to better himself for.

Anyway… his emails boiled down to “I won’t take custody of Luke unless I’m in a public forum surrounded by unbiased adults.  I have to think of MY safety in case Luke says some lie about how I’m treating him that gets me thrown in jail.”  Plus he also stated, “Not in MY House and expressed outrage that the cops looked in HIS refrigerator and MY dog.”  Which was amazing cuz he’s NEVER referred to his girlfriends house, pets or appliances as “his” before.   (I don’t know what he’s whining about.. they came to my house also in all those times! lol)

Obviously SHE wrote the email.  Or dictated it!

But he and she went to see Luke’s therapist.  And I was all, “Yay!!!  He’s taking steps to help our son.”  Oh no, instead, she comes in (I’m assuming after some time of the therapist talking to my Ex) & is very adamant that she can’t be having Luke putting her teaching credentials at risk with police involvement.  So she thinks he should not be around them while he’s like this.  (I was informed of this out of concern for Luke, so I wouldn’t make Luke a fight over strict adhesion to the divorce agreement.)

So it clearly looks like my Ex is choosing his free meal ticket over our children.   Stupid man.   Like THAT isn’t going to bite him in the ass.

So now ALL my free time has disappeared.  If there will never be another weekend I get to myself, then I’ll have no other choice but to sue for child support.  (Luke eats almost double portions these days!)  After all, he’s changing the custody.  He’s going from 3 children for 10 out of 30 days with no child support to 2 children for the same amount of time.   And if I’m not going to have any free time I might as well keep Evan with me also.  She calls my shy boy, anti-social.  I’m sorry, bitch, but you’re not allowed to damage his self esteem just cuz he takes after his father!!

All my friends cheer me on, but they don’t know how much this is going to cost me financially.  Not to mention emotionally as I’ll be severely restricted in ANY private time.  But I will have to do it for my kids sake.  Although I may have to declare bankruptcy afterward! Haha.. but if that’s what I have to do, then so be it.

I didn’t sue for full custody cuz I didn’t want to end up relying on it & to be constantly trying to get it out of a man working a failing business.   But he’s got a guarantee pension from the government.  And he’s living no doubt mostly rent free with his meal ticket.  So I’ll talk to the lawyer Thursday and see what he thinks and what it’ll cost and what I might get & be able to attach to his pension.

Which is WHY most of my blogs have a privacy block.  Now, if you know me, you can FB me or email me or Msg me for the code.  And if you don’t know you can just comment on an unblocked blog with a valid email & I’ll send it to you.

The silliest part of all this…?  …is the EX is choosing this woman over his kids.  No doubt she freaked out when cops came to her door to investigate the things our son said out of teenage exaggeration.  (I’m assuming.)  Just wait until she starts getting the creditors coming to her door looking for my Ex!  See, I get calls from them all the time & NOW I have no reason NOT to give them his residence address also!

Wonder how long it will take before she finally kicks him out.

And what will I do then?  I’m happy to make the custody 50/50 with no child support as long as he’s not living with anyone other than his kids.  If he’d got an actual $10 an hour job ANYWHERE he could have done that… but he chose a different path.  But sooner or later he’s gonna have to take that road anyway.  Cuz Obamacare is going to completely suck away ALL the profit out of the insurance industry!

Nothing is better than Revenge by Obama!

QUICK UPDATE

Wrote this 3 years ago and its been a lot of letting him get away with BS until I finally took him to court for child support a year ago.  He had the audacity to fight me on it, citing the blog as where I write porn, lmao, amongst other things.  And he ended up employed because of Obamacare and I got child support which pissed him off soooo much he’s been insulting me to our children whenever he can.

 

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Facebook… what have you DONE!

Posted on December 21, 2011 by Heather

Facebook has replaced the fun of shopping for humorous cards to give to others

Is it me or has Facebook been the trigger the explosion of smart phones?  I mean I think everyone was ok with just texting until Facebook became the think you couldn’t live without.  Suddenly everyone needs a smart phone to be….  well, constantly on Facebook!

And speaking of FB… my first installment of Funny shit I posted on Facebook   elsewhere is THIS POST.

 

If only this were true for Blogs!

Here’s a fun game. Hide all your FB Sponsored Ads & when it asks why give a different answer for each one starting at the top. I loved it when I told them Macy’s was Sexually Explicit or Ragu was Against My Views. Endless Mischief… my goal for 2011

 

 

It must have been a busy day… my children put themselves to bed at 7:30 !!! Like it was their idea! Maybe I should have them romp with the cousins more often. 😉
“You’re not BORED! You’re “Freedom’s Prisoner!” Sounds like a great title for a lusty romance novel haha!
Watching an old movie with Afleck & Bullock called Forces of Nature. Pretty “Planes, Trains & Automobiles” to Marriage. But there is this one scene that is wonderful. When Sandra Bullock strip teases Ben Afleck in a gay bar. THAT is a scene I could have watched to the END!

 

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Six Degrees from Heather

Posted on December 19, 2011 by Heather

Cool Shit I find on Facebook

This may come as no surprise to you readers… because you know you exist. But since few of you’ve ever left comments I truly just assumed my humor was falling on the deaf ears of space. (Get it, deaf ears, no sound in space?  Sheesh, work with me people!)

So imagine my surprise when this happens.

I get a Facebook friend request from a man & we have a mutual friend in common. Now that’s not unusual lol. Half of my friends on Facebook friended me entirely due to my dirty or funny comments they read on their friends postings. I almost always say yes to these request. After all who can resist THAT! Lol. But I also message a disclaimer before I say yes. After all, sooo many of my friends who KNOW me personally actually hide me or my individual posts or just delete me altogether! Better to get the surprise of my lack of filter nor interest in the concept of TMI out of the way before I accept a friendship!

His message reply was to tell me he’s well versed in my humor since he’s been a fan of my blog since March!  Said he found it cruising thru WordPress. Then recently noticed I was also a friend of Mary Alice’s.  And here we are!  So welcome, new friend Mike 🙂

To say the least when he told me this I was dumbfounded.  Really the odds of 1. Someone actually randomly stumbling upon my blog & liking it  and 2. That someone was also a friend of a friend on Facebook.

So of course I accepted the friend request.  How could I NOT!  An actual fan! lol

Better yet he’s interested in starting a new blog & wants me to be the West Coast Contributor.  Crazy, I know… but I’m all… “Sure!”  Cuz he assures me it won’t take much time.  Judging from the number of entries everyone else does compared to my 3 a week, and well…  I have to agree with him!

So pretty soon (January!) I’ll be starting a new segment.  Because Mike wants me to promote the new blog.  Since promotion isn’t my thing I was looking at how I’d do that.  And I realized I expend a lot of my humor on Facebook instead of here.  So copying a bit from one of my favorite bloggers, The Bloggess, I’m going to start a weekly (or bi-weekly… lets face it I’m a busy gal! lol) wrap up of what & where I write elsewhere.

I foresee lots of cut & paste in my future! lol

 

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Sometimes it’s not whether to do it but “which” it to do

Posted on December 16, 2011 by Heather

I blame the porn industry for thinking of strange things to do and them naming them odd abbreviations!  Abbreviations you have to remember and distinguish!  I’m not even going to get started on all the different names for different positions.  There should be a book!  Oh wait.. there is.. the Kama Sutra.   Well, then there should be a live action instructional video.  Without the porn music or ridiculous plots! lol

Because several weeks ago I had what was probably the best threesome since Vegas.  It was special in a lot of ways I probably can’t go into here without the permission of all involved 😉   But lets just say it was wonderfully “relaxing”.

At one point I suggested a DP.  Which is short for Double Penetration.  Now I’ve done this before with interesting results so I wanted to try something different.  I wanted to try the version they call a DVP…  Double Vaginal Penetration.  Yup.. that’s right, two erections in one vagina.

As with all of these things, the passion tends to disappear as you all work together to try and make something like this happen.  So the atmosphere sounds more like one of the Home Depot classes.

“OK.. you’re going to do the horizontal lie & I’ll come in vertical.”

“I’m in….  wait, watch my leg.”

“OK….  ok…. damm that’s tight.”

“Try it from this angle.”

“Use some lube.”

“OK….  wait… got it!”

“You in?”

“I’m in.”

“Well, get out.. that hurts like a muthu-f*cker!!”

The last part was me.  While both men loved the sensations, it was pressing too hard on one part of my vajayjay.

Yet just like my DP in Vegas where I couldn’t feel any sensations from the cock in my slot because the cock in my ass what sooooo intense…..   I am undaunted over the DVP.

I’m positive we just need to keep trying until we find the position that works for all three of us 🙂

Practice, practice, practice!

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