Heather Barton

In 2022 I found out EDC(LasVegas) was turning 30 in 2023 and I was turning 60, I decided it was worth doing at least once. After all it was the most famous of the rave events… sort of a Coachella for EDM and I was reeeeaaaallllyy getting into EDM. By the time it rolled around, I felt I was ready for the adventure! We had booked a hotel room, arranged who would drive, shopped for rave wear and were excited! But per usual, no plan survives execution.

The hotel I booked gave us 2 full beds and not 2 king beds like I thought I’d chosen. (ALWAYS read the fine print on your reservation and I suggest calling the hotel to arrange for early check in or specifics!) So 4 non-couples practically snuggling. There was no fridge in the room and apparently no one DRIVES to Vegas cuz the hotel parking was so packed we had to illegally park in their lot or valet!

The event was from 7pm to 7am…Friday, Saturday & Sunday. By the time we all got ready and Left the hotel to the event it was close to 9pm that first Friday evening. AND we hit gridlock traffic which took at least an hour to get through. Parking was a circus but at least we were so oddly parked we knew finding the car would be easy! lol. Getting through security was as fun as Coachella with the added highlight of “wow 60!” when they checked my ID. We finally enter the speedway, go through a tunnel and are greeted with a top-of-the-stands overview of 4-5 stages flashing lights and music. It was amazing and a bit overwhelming but we eventually found our friends and let them show us around ending up back at the top of the bleachers just in time for the fireworks show. And a sudden downpour of rain right on top of us!

Undeterred we continued on through the night until I finally felt the need to beat the exiting crowd and leave a bit early. It was soooo disturbing to be driving home, this exhausted, and having the sun rising on us! Everything in my body said, “No! No dawn!” We got to the hotel, got settled into bed, put sleep masks on and all tried to sleep. Except I couldn’t do it. Don’t know if it was me being a morning person, or the caffeine I drank to try and stay awake or the bed or the snoring of my fellow partiers… but I tried for hours to sleep and by noon I gave up and went to have breakfast. I tried again after breakfast with no luck. I tried again to bask in the sun by the pool with no luck. So by the evening, I shrugged into my next rave outfit and went back out again to party.

We left early for the venue in hopes of avoiding the gridlock and mostly sailed through and managed to luck out into a similar parking area as the first one. We went and saw a few performers and did a lot of wandering. We also had a glitter makeup session at 9:30 which was fun. By the time we found our friends I was starting to feel the lack of sleep and we choose instead to sit in the stands and enjoy the main stage. And then suddenly the most wonderful music was playing and I spent the next hour dancing…. of ALL the music I’d listened to nothing was as wonderful as Chase and Status. I was in heaven. I’d found my EDM sound, which you don’t realize you’re missing until you find it.

It wasn’t long after they ended that we told everyone “the olders were pooped” and headed back to the hotel room. THANKFULLY, I finally slept! Even easily going back to sleep when our friends made it home also.

Day three was a bit more of the same but honestly I was more overwhelmed than thrilled with the entire adventure. Monday morning we got late checkout, slogged through breakfast and hit the road for home. I had to pull over by hour 2 of driving after we slogged through the horrible Vegas traffic because I was falling asleep! My bestie drove the rest of the way.

If we ever do it again… it will be fly up party & fly down lol

I swear, I try to blog and yet… I can only seem to sum up. I used to blog DAILY! …but then Facebook happened. That petered down to once a week (writing & kids), to once a month (divorce & starting MY life), to barely a quarter (kids & work!) and finally to this stage…annually.

So, I guess… let’s recap 2023.

It took a bit after breaking up & kicking out Sex G but I started dating again just at the end of 2022. Same site cuz the LAST thing I want in my life is to be in love… or even a boyfriend. And per usual I met several lovely men and even kept a few throughout the year. It works because they have busy schedules as do I so we connect when we both happen to be free.

In 2023 I turned 60 (!) and my mother turned 80. When someone asked if Mom was doing anything for her 80th I realized that if WE didn’t throw us a party no one would. Since her birthday is mid March and mine mid April we decided to throw ourselves a party on April Fools Day cuz neither of us look our age. My brother offered his backyard as the venue (space, tables & chairs), my mother and I sent out e-vites (with her friends & our family we had 25-30 people!) and I rented a taco truck & paid for a sheet cake. My sister didn’t offer anything & I didn’t ask, cuz (probably my biggest failing) I don’t ask for help. I invited 1 friend (my bestie Glo) cuz I realized this was already more about my Mom than me. So I had a separate party for my friends. All in all it was lovely. Mom had a great time, Luke enjoyed seeing relatives, my relatives barely saw my other 2 and my bestie made a wonderful grand entrance during the group picture (I managed to see NO pix of this event lol) that made my day. Worth it.

After the debacle of 2022 Coachella I decided to make sure I wouldn’t get duped into going with Selfish Bitch Cara ever again. So when the presale for 2023 went on sale I splurged and bought premier camping. And boy, was THAT worth it! NO need to get up by 5am to get there by 8am to wait in huge lines for the car search only to feed all those lines into 1 to row by row directed to parking. Nope.. we didn’t leave until 8 ish, breezed through the minor security line & bypassed EVERYONE else to go around to the Premier parking which was smack between the entrance and silent disco/marketplace area. And we were about 10 rows from the entrance 😀

The grass was finally GREEN again cuz of all the rain Cali got at the beginning of 2023 and our set up was perfect. We were joined by my co-worker friend Brenda & her friend Naomi who hung with us a bit but mostly partied with their friends at regular camping during festival time. So Glo and I got to relax together most of the entire time. We didn’t even hit the venue until 3 ish! The lineup wasn’t particularly a favorite so we did a lot of “tasting” of many acts. We DID discover Ashnikko purely by her sound and thoroughly loved her anti-patriarchy songs! We REALLY enjoyed the silent disco before it went silent cuz it was great music with no one there so I danced and danced! After a night of insomnia on Friday (head in a corner where 4 spots meet! idiot!! so many people talking!) I learned to put ear buds in and play Rufus du Sol to block sound and nodded right to sleep without losing my vibe. Other than that it was kinda boring and yet, more wonderful & relaxing than any other vacation I can imagine.

In 2022 I heard EDC was turning 30 in 2023 and since I was turning 60 it seemed appropriate to finally see what all the hype was about. The grounds were pretty amazing, the fireworks so wonderful, the music choices too many, the traffic & parking a nightmare, the room at the Golden Nugget wasn’t what I thought I was getting (always read your fine print!!), the raveware I bought cute but let’s get better! So the highlights… I didn’t sleep for 48 straight hours (I spent hours trying!), only “enjoyed” 1 night, discovered the exact edm style I love (drum & base) by hearing Chase & Status accidentally while resting in the stands on night 2, if I do this again I’d probably fly in, party, & fly out… it would be CHEAPER!

I went to so many raves in 2023… Slander (wonderful but too short!), Chase & Status (a month after EDC! so happy, BTSM (Black Tiger Sex Machine) not bad, Apocolypse Zombieland (an entire stage just for drum & base!). My friends who work normal jobs & have weekends off seem to go to a rave every weekend & I’m juuuust a little bit jealous now.

My sister wanted me to hear her favorite group Yachtly Crew. I was going to do it in January but I got Covid yet then she told me they were coming to The Starlight Bowl in Burbank in July and she got us tickets. We came prepared with food & drink & cushions and enjoyed the company of my sister & sister in law. I can’t remember if there was an opening band, I can only remember the horror of being tortured by the headliner. Over 6 men, dressed in sailing captain outfits, covering 70’s soft rock hits. Yes, I knew all the songs, yes they performed them well, yes the drunken 60 year old audience was enthusiastic (they wore yacht captain hats!!), yes I took video JUST to show others cuz no one would believe this if I told them but no, I did not have a good time. It wasn’t even the GOOD songs of that era!!! Thankfully I was so obviously unimpressed my sister will never invite me again.

What I DID enjoy for every single minute was seeing P!nk and NBT in October. P!nk had been on my bucket list and she kept releasing amazing albums. I missed her tour in 2022 so I wasn’t going to miss it this year. And she was worth every VIP dollar I spent! Carpooled with my sister-in-law (best navigator in the WORLD with 3 chatting women taking back streets to get to SoFi stadium. The stadium was a great venue, the opening act of … was an amazing surprise and I think P!nk is just the best performer to see live. It made seeing my favorite band since their inception, Nothing But Thieves, a bit disappointing only days later. The venue wasn’t made for short girls, we enjoyed a drink in the bar area & bought merch instead of pushing to the front early so I didn’t get a single glimpse of my guys, & the parking was a bitch. But I sang & heard my favorite songs, danced and enjoyed another wonderful evening out with my bestie Glo. I’m hoping they come to L.A. again this fall!

Huntington Beach had a first ever Darker Waves festival in November. The lineup was pretty amazing with Tears for Fears, New Order, Violent Femmes, Devo, English Beat, …. I hesitated but then downloaded the new Tears for Fears album and HAD to see them! That album was amazing and I’d always been a fan so I got VIP for me, Glo & her new fave guy. Why I won’t go again…the drive, parking, it was on the SAND, the sets were too short cuz there were too many artists for 3 stages & these drunken 50 year olds…ugh! Only an amazing lineup would get me to go again and there is a similar type festival in Pasadena called Cruel World, so probably a no on another Darker Waves.

The funniest thing about booking so many events & putting them in my calendar is how quickly forget and then get surprised! That’s what happened with Hoobastank tix in December lol. I’ve loved their music for a while and was thrilled when they toured at the 20th anniversary of their Reason song. SADLY, the tiny venue they played was freezing, terrible drinks, & giants who felt they deserved front row. The only plus to the venue was easy free street parking! But the band was amazing live and Glo and I always have a fab time whenever we’re together.

The year ended amazingly when I got to attend a Clipper game in the VIP section with my brother because my niece works for the franchise. You have to understand just how much I LOVE basketball. Several years ago I bought a half season in the nose bleeds seats and enjoyed it, but THIS, this was the most amazing way to watch my favorite sport. Special parking, free food and the seats! I was level with the basket and only about 50′ away from the court…whole new level of enjoying the game! Talking basketball with my brother…priceless.

I ended the year with my usual rave Countdown. This time, though I booked us in a motel & bought tix for both days. Unfortunately my bestie couldn’t get both days off so I ended up taking my fave lover of the year. He’s my age, independent with little baggage, really satisfies me in the bedroom and a good kisser. Because he’s handy around the house, he’s met the kids & my Mom although I tell them all not to “get attached”. I intriduced him to rave’s and he’s just loving it all. Although when we go to raves so many young people come up to us…”We wanna be you when we’re your age?” It’s amusing and flattering.

2024 seems to be shaping up to to rival it’s predecessor… so I shall try to catch up blogs and maybe avoid such a long annual recap! (Wish me luck lol)

Coachella 2022 was both fun, a learning experience and a bit annoying based on: lineup, 8 people with 4 camping spots and selling extra ticket drama.

The lineup didn’t have a lot of roll over from the cancelled 2020 and included “Ye” (the a-hole Kanye West) who I was thoroughly excited to get up front and throw water bottles at the asshole but then he CANCELLED and Swedish House Mafia played for half his set and they were WONDERFUL. As was Doja Cat that Sunday. Saturday’s highlight was Danny Elfman and Megan The Stallion. And for Friday we got too high on an edible and missed almost EVERYTHING! Yup… I was one of those girls puking into a trashcan at the venue by 6pm that I’ve mocked all those years.

Our large camping group had a bit of drama that was mostly ignored as we venued in separate groups of 2. But there were things we tried that DID work well. A kiddie pool filled with water to cool off feet was wonderful. Solar lights in the canopies and at the front of the car to find our site was brilliant. Dry ice at the bottom of the cooler under regular ice worked TOO well and we had to ice pick some stuff out!

Extra ticket drama came about because I couldn’t trace confirmation of my 2019 ticket purchase. Obviously the ex bf did it, used my card (as I had proof it was purchased), but used his emails so I didn’t get confirmation and had to hope he didn’t change the delivery address and take the 4 tickets & 2 camping spots I’d purchased. In my panic I bought the tickets again and 2 more as friends wanted to join us with another camping spot. THEN the tickets arrived and suddenly I had 4 to sell! Immediately my companions thought of their roommate and a price was accepted and the tickets & joining us was arranged. Selling the other 2 tickets and 1 camping spot was arduous as I couldn’t do it until I’ve got them in hand and by then the market was flooded. I barely sold them for half of what I paid. Days before the event the girl roommate began to bargain me down because “she could buy them elsewhere for cheaper”. That was also part of the drama at the campsite. And why this year I paid for preferred camping because I’m not dealing with vacationing with unethical people ever again.

After 2 years of NOT going on my favorite vacation I will say it was perfect weather, almost perfect company and I was so glad to finally be festivaling again! I just don’t care WHO plays as long as I can enjoy music in the sun, NOT being Mom, NOT being daughter, NOT being employee! Just being me.

btw… I used to add pix to my posts but as the blog (and I) age the format changed and the older posts pix disappeared so I don’t bother anymore. Too few people read it anyway! lol

It’s almost been a year since my last posting. In that time… Coachella finally happened after 2 years of Covid cancellations, my father & his wife passed within weeks of each other, I moved into a better department at work (better for body and mind!), my kids are moving forward and probably out of my house within 6 to 18 months, I got a new car and Covid (not at the same place or time lol) and I turn 60 this year.

Coachella 2022 and my Dad will get their own post, obviously. But lets start from last May when I last posted.

May 2022 I decided to try an ultrasound type of surgery on my left heel because my Plantar Faciitis was incredibly painful in my day to to day job. The procedure had been around 15 years and my doctor had been doing it for 10. It was minor but left me in a boot for a month or so. Once out of the boot I didn’t feel much improvement but nine months later the excruciating pain now only twinges a bit and sorts itself out with a few stretches. Worth the time and money!

In June I saw the Australian comedian Hannah Gadsby (still in the boot). I was a bit too drunk on pre-show cocktails and the seats were so high up I could barely hear her! (Acoustics are much more important with a comedian than a band!) I can only hope she does the show in a Netflix special so I can hear the routine again because I adore her comedy!

In August I attended my 40th high school. Over 100 people showed up which is more a testament to our reunion committee because the years before and after had very low attendance. It was both fun and boring because it was the same people as every 10 years when we hold this thing. (I’ll be honest… every time I go there is this classmate who comes up to me to tell me how influential my father was in leading him to God which I find both sad for him and a bit of an eye-roll because I KNEW my father and his relationship to God wasn’t very “pure”. So after listening to him do that, yet again, I flippantly shot out “He died a few months ago” and walked away with a bit of an evil grin) I chit chatted about, took some cute pix of the wonderful sunsets from The Castaway restaurant and soon lost interest in connecting to people I don’t have anything in common with anymore. I left as soon as I could get away.

Also in I moved from cashiering to selling in my job. The new position makes me so much happier! Instead of standing I mostly do walking. I’m not at a salary cap, I’m making almost $3 more an hour. I also went down in hours but the pay almost matches what I was making before and I’m working one day less. Overall, as I realize I probably only have 10-15 years of work-life left, I’m really happy to be where I am in this company I’m proud to work for.

When I heard that She Wants Revenge was playing in September I grabbed up those tickets fast and their concert was amazing! (with the exception of an opening act that was obvious nepotism when SWR’s lead singer joined her for a song which didn’t even help her terrible set) By now my best friend had completely replaced the ex-boyfriend as my Plus One to all events and it’s been such a pleasure having her company to whatever I want to do. lol

I was all set to go to Countdown even though it was expected to pour rain the entire time when I finally, after 2.5 years, caught Covid. I was very lucky cuz my symptoms were no different than a common cold. And I was contemplating going but my event partner also got Covid and she got it BAD, almost pneumonia level bad and it RAINED hard through the entire event so I couldn’t risk her health. Thank goodness for trip insurance and booking the hotel through Expedia with their great cancellation policy. I’ve since made it a rule NEVER to kiss a man 2 weeks before ANY event I plan on attending! 😉

And that pretty much wraps up 2022!

Yesterday I deleted my Bumble dating app account. After one month of their Premium account I had been… 1. catfished (meaning the date I was supposed to go on disappeared before the day of the date from the site)… 2. when I WOULD find a match then start a conversation…. the guy and/or Bumble would let it expire and it went no where…. 3. then I DO connect with a guy, actually meet in person, he seems nice and finds me wonderful and we exchange numbers and then….. he ghosts me.

How are these men “better” than the ones on the sex site? At least with those men I have huge paragraphs that I can explain EXACTLY what I’m looking for and refer to every idiot who emails macho stupidity directly to those paragraphs. Although I bet there is a level of crossover, site to site, who knows.

I did notice a ridiculous amount of TALL men on Bumble. So many 6’4″, 6′ 2″… that is just too tall for a woman who is 5’1″! And sometimes I’d take a chance on someone who would be a 30-45 minute drive instead of my usual “no farther than a 20 minute drive” limitation. And I still ended up with the above results.

And I blame the way the algorithm is set up completely. Yes, we’re all busy people and Bumble acts like the solution to that is to NOT wait until you’ve have the TIME to respond or react or if you coincidentally swipe right at the same time THEY have swiped right…. because EVERYTHING IS TIMED! Unless you pay extra for more time!

And their payment options are horrid! Premium choices are $20-week, $40-month, $80-3 months OR … and here is the stupidity… $300 for Lifetime! LIFETIME!!!! How depressing is the success of this “dating” app if you’re using it FOR A LIFETIME! (Yes, yes, I know I’ve been on the sex site for over 15 years…. that’s DIFFERENT!)

I’m not sure if I want to try Hinge. Maybe in a month or two. Or maybe I should try Tinder. OR maybe I should just admit that perhaps I’ve aged out of sexy Heather Cougar. Except when I did kiss that last guy, my libido perked right up and caressed his hard muscle arms and wanted more. And the car ride home after that had my body humming.

Sexy Heather Cougar is still in there… it just takes more to get her both interested and at the peak of arousal and there are fewer and fewer options to make that happen.

Just before I deleted my account I informed Bumble about how and why I found their site both not worth the time or money and suggested they offer a $110 for the year option. Haven’t heard anything but, honestly, I doubt the algorithm even logged it…. sigh.

Anyone who knows me and/or has read this blog, knows that I’ve had a lot of sex. I mean A LOT of sex! So, of course, I’ve tried many, many positions and have a few favorites. Although I’ll admit I’m not anything like “Kama Sutra” level experienced! Of all the positions I’ve done, I’ve found two that I feel work absolutely the best at getting female orgasms….for two different reasons.

The first Perfect Position is where I do absolutely no work and I’m in a position of total relaxation. This is, of course, flat on my belly with the male entering from above me and behind. This can be challenging as a start so I usually suggest starting (well lubbed) in doggy style and then together move into the female lying flat pose. What is crucial to the success of this position is to not have my legs really wide…. as that will develop into a hip cramp. Remember, this is where the woman is totally relaxed and just enjoying the sensations without her legs getting tired being held up or around or whatever. And the bonus is it’s very easy to slip a hand between your legs in this position and engage your clitoris if you’re not getting enough vaginal stimulation to bring you to orgasm. You’re doing minimal work so you can focus on what your body is feeling without the distractions of other parts of your body complaining about maintaining a position.

The second Perfect Position is almost the exact opposite of the first one. In this position I do ALL the work and the male enjoys the ride. BUT the key to success of this position is the right chair. See for me to be able to do all the work I must have my feet flat on the floor to be able to take control of the movement. I can hear all of you now, “But Heather, you’re describing a basic girl on top position!” No… no, I am not. Girl on Top uses the knees for movement or a woman who can do a level of squat that most aren’t limber enough for. When using the knees, I don’t get the right level of control AND my knees give out after about 5 minutes, tops! BUT, if I have the right chair… i.e. one that is low enough that this short girl can straddle her male AND get her feet on the floor AND has a back that I can hold on to… then I can take pure control of the fucking and direct it’s speed and direction. The plus side for the male is bouncing breasts within his grasps and if he wants to here me scream he can press a thumb to my clitoris on a down stroke.

Now if I could just find the perfect chair….

I apologize to anyone who actually reads the blog as it’s been almost a year since I’ve done a post! You must have thought I died from Covid. Happily me and my were unscathed, but we did a lot of masking and isolating!

I’d like to say I’ve been busy but in reality I’ve been adjusting to the whirlwind of what’s been going on in my life. Yes, I still (happily) work at IKEA and run my mother’s side business’s. But my almost 11 year relationship with Sex God has ended. For most of the last year his behavior became erratic and paranoid and then came to a head October 2020. He may never admit he’s struggling with some sort of mental illness but I’m done trying to keep his extremes from escalating into serious problems. So he has moved out, sadly leaving much of his (probably unsellable) art all over my house and owing me approximately $6,000 in unpaid rent/bills/car insurance of his I’ve paid for, etc.

But the peace and quiet in my house is wonderful. We are a house of 4, mostly introverts who enjoy our own company, spend time on the computers with headphone and just do our own thing. With Sex God there was always blasting noise and heavy footsteps and loud power tools as he watched t.v. or did his art through the day AND night. Plus his mood swings was bringing stress to my kids. So now I have my house and yard back. And I’ll soon have my garage back, even if I have to Goodwill or trash his art and leftover stuff. Don’t get me started on how much lower my food, water & power bill is ;D

So technically I’m ‘back on the market’ although I’m also 2 years from 60! The sex drive is saying “Do we really want to get naked? Isn’t masturbation enough for you?” And while I do love the positive vibes I get at work it’s just not as much fun as Cougar Heather (which is, obviously a psychological pitfall of having a large part of my insecure inner value sex based). But this time, it took about 6 months of me getting over the loss of what was my perfect partner before I even thought about dating again. I looked at all the dating site options before me trying to decide which one I should try and I realized a part of me was looking for a replacement for Sex God and thinking of trying a regular dating site for that. And I knew that was the wrong path for me.

When my Mother divorced my Dad she dated probably over a 10-12 year period. The men she dated did seem to get progressively better than the low bar of my Dad, but even when she was attached to them, they did a lot of letting her down until she finally just gave up and decided she was better off single. Particularly once she hit 50 and realized all the men looked at her RN degree and decided she would be great to take care of them in their old age when all she’d ever wanted was someone who took care of her. Now she’s 78, finally retired this year, and gets to do whatever she wants, when she wants, with her own earned money. She takes care of herself.

And we’ve always been a bit alike. I could easily give up sex right now, says my libido. Give up the attention of men, the enjoyment of being attractive to a man…. but I resisted. And updated my profile on the sex site…. and answered a bunch of emails, set up a few meets, and at one of those meets felt my libido wake up at the sound of the voice of the man and downright purr when I gave him a hug goodbye. (During Covid times I just can’t end the meet with a kiss like I used to….a year of 6 feet apart training has me a bit skittish!)

So yes, I’m back on the market of looking for FWB’s (friends with benefits) but there isn’t the intense libido driving me, just the relaxed older woman seeing if anything interesting approaches the shore.

Although I did have a wonderful play date with a very skilled, FABULOUSLY interesting, fun 24 year old which did a lot to remind my body how much I enjoy sex. 😉

This year…. this year is a crazy challenge for us all.

In February we voted in California’s primary, learned my middle son is on academic probation, struggled to get the kids jobs and dealt with crazy shit that makes me have difficulty watching the show Shameless cuz sometimes it hits so close to home!  Not only did Bernie win Cali but the local Progressive I canvassed for, Dan Brotman, won in Glendale!  Made me feel so great!  That we can make a difference for decent change.  Then all the other Dem nominees dropped like flies making the contest between Bernie & Biden and the Dem Greed decided “let’s do the Hilary race all over!” pushing Biden, because THAT worked last time.

Then in mid-March California closed!  I was lucky because IKEA paid as emergency wages, what I would have earned if I’d been able to work my schedule for two months & on our last payday they also paid out all the PTO I’d accrued. And then they continued our benefits until they rehired us mid June.  THIS is what working for an Ethical Company is all about.  My unemployment payment came quicker that the boyfriend’s due to the fact I already had a state debit card from last year’s disability filing & didn’t have to wait a month for it to arrive in the mail.   So during all this chaos, I’ve been lucky financially.

Sex God’s job was on hold for 2 months, which made sense as they are OFTEN in the homes of the elderly, moving them to a new place.  But he’s NOT getting paid for this little vacation.  And with all our lovely needed spring rain, he’s not been able to do almost anything, but artwork.  I have no more room on my walls!!

Then in April my Coachella vacation got postponed to October and then to 2021!  Which was very, very sad, although it does give me more time to heal my feet or lose some weight!  lol  All 5 of us opted to roll our tickets over to 2021, so at least I’m not out the money!  And while I’m bummed not to see Yungblud, Danny Elfman & Joji, I wasn’t that thrilled with the lineup anyway.

I’ve barely touched the surface of ALL the crazy that’s happened in the last 6 months but obviously time management wasn’t one of the things I managed since this blog is months late!

Hopefully I’ll have better news for July.

Sorry, I digress.