In writing about one adventure I realized I forgot a crucial hysterical embarrassing part of my trip to Europe.
My mother had fabulous grandparents who owned the famous “Pink House” on South Coast Drive in La Jolla. Yes, THAT famous Pink House. They were the parents of my narcissistic grandmother who I despise for her warped sense of the word “fair.” And whom I take my pen name “Barton” from in hopes I can publish a really dirty book with HER last name on it (as I took it as my pen name) and present it to her. Hopefully I’ll be near when she has the heart attack!
Anyway, my beloved grandmother’s family was from a little town in Germany called Gimmeldingen. While lecturing in Germany my mother was determined to visit this town that her family was known to come from. And since its also known as wine country, she wanted to buy and have shipped to America a bottle of wine from this town to all her relatives.
But. And there’s always a but! Besides the fact I thought she was crazy for wanting to gift to her relatives (see I KNEW these people, too!) We were on a lecture tour. So the only day we have free is Sunday. BUT this does not stop her. The local church (small town, only ONE church) was, of course, open and she goes in and asks to see their ANCIENT registry bible. Where they have listed all the births and deaths in the little town. She finds the name of her great, grandfather.
Now, I’m heartily embarrassed by all this TOURISM she’s doing and I sanely refuse to accompany her in her madness. Oh, BUT she takes it to the streets. It is here she tells me she wants to buy wine for everyone. BUT all the wineries are closed. ITS SUNDAY!! BUT that doesn’t stop her!
She begins to pound knock on all the doors of the wineries until she finds one that 1. Answers, 2. Speaks English and 3. Agrees to sell to the crazy American. I’m standing in the deserted street (REALLY small town, like empty small) trying to pretend I’m not with her.
BUT she manages it all. Ends up buying about 10 bottles of wine and paying to have each one individually shipped to a relative. She’s happy and the cooperative winery got to make a nice unexpected sale. None of the recipients every thanked her.
Which illustrates the lesson, Never Try to Impress People. Those whose attention you are craving aren’t going to give you more attention by your acts and those who love you already don’t need acts to shower you with attention.
Or in other words. I was right. Duh!