So in attending a work conference I had to rent a car. I don’t pony it up for the big models and usually just get enough car to handle the extra luggage I have to take when working a booth for work. This time I also had the boss with me, as the conference was a lecture she was giving. (Super successful, she always rocks an event!)
AANNNYYYYway. They gave me a Ford Focus to drive. Right away I noticed the trunk had HALF the space of my lovely Corolla. Whatever, we put the extra in the back seat. The Focus did look like it had more room in the car cabin, but what do I care! I’m 5’2″… my seat is ALWAYS pulled forward so that “space” is lost on me. And as the driver/buyer I don’t care how much room is in the back or in other areas.
But space aside. The truth in any vehicle is the drive. And the Focus sucked in that department. The steering was so stiff! Yuck. The acceleration and braking was similar to my car although I think it was slower to respond to my “not really so heavy” lead foot. Yet the truly obnoxious part was it had a speed limiter on it. Oh yes… it DID! Whenever I got near 80, and we’re talking 72, 76 or 78 it would bing/bong me. Then read that I was “nearing top speed of 80”.
ANNOYING!!
The boss loved it cuz she said, “It keeps you honest.”
Fuck that! It’s a rental and I’ve got a destination to hit! I’d like to get to the hotel before 10 pm! And make it back to the airport on time!
I did manage NOT to grumble at her, “Shut up, bitch, and NAVIGATE!” Cuz she’s the boss AND my mother. But me and that car had a bing/bong dance for the entire one hour drive from San Jose to Stockton. Jeez, the speed limit was 70!! So, of course, I’m obligated to go at least 5 to 10 miles above that! It would ping at me and I’d tell it to “Ef off..” and drive as close as I could get to 80. I wasn’t sure what would happen if I actually tried to go OVER 80.. car turn off, engine implode or the bing/bong noises would change to a big “Pffbbttttt.”
And yes, I’m sure there was a way to turn that function OFF and perhaps parents love this feature.. but OMG.. its annoying!
Of course, then the ultimate icing on the cake of “I hate this car” was when the boss starts fiddling with the radio. “I want to listen to some National Public Radio,” she announced. Which to me is almost as bad as Fox news on the “NOT relaxing me” scale.
I’m contemplating whether or not to pull over to fish out my iPod from my briefcase behind my seat or try to tempt suicide and do it driving while she runs the radio twice through the search buttons. But she finally admits the radio has baffled her and she cannot find it.
“Well, we are in Stockton,” I remind her, “maybe they don’t broadcast out here.” And totally keep silent on the fact she hasn’t searched the AM channels!
Bing/bong.. answers the car.
Eat SHIT! I mutter at it and gun the gas pedal juuuuust a little more.